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Navigating Grief This Holiday Season

by Christi Landry

December 26, 2021 618 views
 

Grief is hard.

There’s no way around it. It’s just hard.

It’s all-encompassing, like your own personal dark cloud that follows you around no matter where you go.

You can’t pass it on or set it down. You carry it with you like it’s a part of you. Navigating grief on a regular day is a minefield of emotions. It’s even harder when you’re dealing with grief during the holiday season.

How do I know? This will be my first Christmas holiday without my Mama. My mother passed away on a Friday morning this past June, and my life hasn’t been the same since. It was like everything changed in a moment. The woman who had been a constant in my life was no longer there. She was the foundation of our lives, and no one in my family was prepared for life without her.

The six months since have been tremendously difficult. Together, as a family, we have slowly begun to adjust to life without her. But as the end of the year approached, we all began dreading the holiday season. We’ve decided to soldier on and do our traditional holiday celebrations for the sake of the young children in the family.

But this entire season has been brutal, and we’ve still got the Christmas and New Year’s holidays ahead. The thought of navigating all of this exhausts me. Grief is an incredibly complex emotion, and everyone’s journey is different.

Think of it like your fingerprint. Your grief journey is yours, and no two paths are the same. And I don’t have the answers for how to get through the holidays without your loved one, but I’d like to share what I’ve learned and the wisdom I’ve received from those also navigating grief right.

- Don’t think that you have to suppress your grief for the sake of holiday joy. If you’re sad and mournful, then don’t let anyone tell you to let it go for the sake of the holiday. Go ahead and feel all the feels.

- Honor your loved ones and make their memory and spirit a part of your holiday. My Mama loved angels and had several beautiful angel Christmas ornaments. Some of her angels now hang on my tree. Something that simple reminds me of my mother is still a big part of this holiday season.

- Make new traditions. This Thanksgiving was brutal. My Mama always helped my sisters and me to cook. All of us were emotional carrying out the tradition without her. So we decided that instead of cooking our traditional Christmas meal without her, we’d do a seafood feast. It’ll be the start of a new tradition for us. You have no idea how comforting that decision is.

- Be kind to yourself. Grief has no timetable, no expiration date. The worst thing someone can tell you is, “It’s been x years. You have to let go.” Ignore that. Take the time you need to heal from your loss. Put what you need first. That’s a revolutionary act of self-love when you need it most.

- This bit of advice is more for those who may not be grieving this holiday, but you know someone who is. Be mindful of those who are grieving.

Because this is the first holiday season without my Mama, I’m hyper-aware of how many people are navigating grief and have been doing so bravely for so long. It’s not that I ignored it before. What’s different is I now know what that feels like. And it’s painful.

Be kind to people who are making their way on this journey. Your kindness is a blessing they need. To my fellow people experiencing grief, you aren’t alone. We can do this, and it won’t always be this tough.

Let’s do the best we can. That’s all we have to do.

 
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Christi Landry
NOIRE Senior Editor
 

 

 

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